Do-Over

Do-Over.

I like that phrase.

To me it means you get another chance. To start fresh. Begin anew. Look past what was before and make it better.

This is me now. I get a do-over. Another chance.

This past summer I was handed a diagnosis of which I thought I understood but truly I did not. I was labeled and categorically put on the medical shelf: Meniere’s disease. It’s really not a disease since a person cannot die from it. But its effects have been life-altering and, at times, devastating.

Appointments had been cancelled, phone messages and email had gone delayed or unanswered, celebrations and visits had been missed, needs had gone unmet. I have not only been out of the loop…the loop has completely passed me by. I had gotten to where I feared waking, dreaded those first few steps beginning my day. What will today bring? How many hours will I have until I am struck down yet again? Disappointment, frustration, and concern have been hovering at my door. But no more.

After the last attack, I laid in bed thinking. I had seen, firsthand, how life can suddenly shift from one path to another. My life had become vastly different. Before, I was well and full of energy. But now. How could this happen? This illness was trying to put a stop to me. To my family. To my living the life God has set before me. But I’m not going to hand over my life willingly to something {or someone} that just wants to destroy. I can’t. It’s just not in me to give up.

So this is my new life. My mantra is to live every day without expectation of toxic arrows that may fly near me. My goal is to greet my family with love, joy, and excitement and run headlong into every new adventure. Live every moment as though it’s my last.

Welcome. This is my do-over.