Giver

Here I sit at the kitchen table watching my son, MrC, finish his dinner. My daughter Catz, sick with a serious head cold, is lying on the couch waiting for him to join her in the family room. TechDaddy, having left the house just minutes before, is on his way to a Financial Peace class at my church.

I was supposed to be with him. By his side, walking hand-in-hand into the classroom, sitting as a couple, driving home together, sharing our day. Instead I am at home, feeling aggravated at everyone including myself. Catz says she feels more comfortable with me at home with her. MrC seems unhelpful and disinterested about keeping his big sister company so I can go out. TechDaddy wants me with him. I feel like I can’t make anyone happy and so I sit watching MrC push peas around his plate and listen to the silence as the tv is paused. 

But I’m grumbling. Not out loud, but inside where only God can hear me. And I realize my face is pinched into a look of irritation. This alone could scare away anyone, child or adult. But this is not what I want for my family. I’m supposed to be giving. Of my time, my energy, my self. And I am. But they’re supposed to get the best of me.

However, Paul speaks on this in God’s word. I remember how he speaks on attitude and states it clearly:

“Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” 2nd Corinthians 9:7

I know he was speaking about giving tithes, but I think it still pertains to my situation. Giving tithes means we give something that’s valuable to us back to God. If I give the best of myself to my family then aren’t I still giving back to God?

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” Matthew 25:7 

I let out a deep breath, releasing the tension that had been mounting. Now my whole attitude has changed. I’m happy that Catz is feeling relaxed having me nearby. MrC can watch the movie with his big sis and not feel pressured to be in charge, a role he’s not used to. And TechDaddy…while I miss the time we could be having together, he’ll be home in a couple of hours. I’ll greet him with fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies {his faves}, a few well-placed kisses, and time to spend together. Cheerfully.



I'm linking up with Emily at tuesdays unwrapped. Hope you stop by for a visit!